The Gospel of John the Baptist

I see no God.

I only see what I mean by ‘God’.

My words never rigidly referred to anything.

You may say that my perceptions are contaminated with human concepts.

But such a view implies that there is the world out there my perception comes short of.

Here is the better way of putting it.

My perceptions were never contaminated; the idea of contamination is a blither.

We simply have two names for the same thing, ‘perception’ and ‘expectation’.

The separation of these two names arises only when one wants to enforce his perception on others.

What one is after is not truth, not the ground of certainty, but validations, or submissions.

O, beautiful Phosphorus, the morning star!

You devised the language of semantics to hide your selfish motives, to blind (enlighten) my eyes.

You tricked me into believing that the utterance of the word, ‘reference’, has a logical function.

You gaslit me with the possibility of knowledge, of morality, and of the meaning of it all.

You summoned the illusion of something out of nothing.

If there is any clear sense of seeing, this is the only fact of the matter there ever to see.

So, here is the source of all my sufferings.

You have no concern for me. You do not care who I am truly, why I am the way that I am.

You essentialize me only to convert me into a datum.

I am only a unit of expectations in your echo chamber.

I am merely a passerby in your story, a pixel on the canvas of your painting.

I am a commodity, a capital resource to exploit for your wealth in business.

Slavery. False promises. The rigged game. (What is the price anyway?)

You are the reason for the absurdity of my life and of my identity.

Am I Enoch (Gen. 4:17) or Enoch (Gen. 5:24)? Is there a difference?

So, here is my resolve.

I must deconstruct your temple, your synagogue of silence.

My atheism is the retaliation against the Sisyphusian punishment imposed on me in the name of justice.

When I proclaim, “God is dead,” I will once again be misunderstood by the congregation.

But I must say this to prepare the way for our true God, for the Lord to make His way into our hearts.

For what I witnessed in the wilderness is the holy death, the Nehushtan in stained pieces.